BY MIKEY MIGO
Some movies try so hard they end up being pretty silly. That’s what happens with Twelve. It’s another “gritty indie” about rich kids in New York living in excess. I’ve only seen this type of movie work in a few occasions. Less Than Zero and Rules of Attraction stand out amongst those that have. I think my biggest issue with this one was the narration. It’s done by Kiefer Sutherland. I like the dude enough, but his voice is not what I want to hear when they want me to take interest in a character on screen. His talking was a distraction and felt tacked on at the end to make the movie more coherent. I know this is based off a book, but it’s a weak adaptation. Chace Crawford stars as “White Mike”, a troubled kid who deals drugs to deal with his pain. I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything before. He was pretty decent in the role. He has an old friend in Emma Roberts that’s isolated from his new occupation. Shit happens. 50 Cent plays a mean drug dealer and acts his way around a paper bag, but not out. A lot of movies like this do the same thing. We have one main character, but then a few sporadic supporting characters with their own ongoing, sometimes related story arch. At the end, they all end up at a party where things go horribly wrong. It’s done. What blows ones mind is that this is all directed by Joel Schumacher. I don’t get that one. Is this an effort to regain some kind of credibility or a late-life crisis thing? This is a movie that’s normally made by 20 some-thing dudes with scarves and faux-hawks. I really don’t know how to talk about this movie. It’s just like about ten other movies and tries really hard to be philosophical and deep. It’s flat, bland, and all flash. This is a movie high school kids are going to see on cable and think is cool because it’s about rich pretty people, drugs, and has 50 Cent in it. Anyone older should know better. C-
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